Freedom

"Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility"

-Sigmund Freud

With these words in mind I would like to discuss a few things about freedom and the potential conflicts I might have with my own long awaited liberation during my Gap Year.  In the grand scheme of things I will inevitably have to move away from my parents and become responsible over myself if I wish to live normally.   In my gap year and the ensuing years in university, I will largely live independent from my parents, and yet, I will still remain largely dependent on them financially until I find secure income.   In terms of financial freedom, 18 is hardly an age to look forward to.  But is that not a good thing, if we actually don't want to have responsibility as Freud states?  

I find any freedom from outside sources to be a profound check of self determination and liberty. Yet with each freedom I gain it seems another link is attached to my chain, but it is a chain that is attached to my own post and not that of my parents or anybody else.  Freedom means buying my own food, cooking for myself, washing my clothes, cleaning the house and getting to places on my own. When one puts freedom into context it become decreasingly appetizing.

However, what I find my largest challenge will be in freedom, will be to prevent myself from wasting away in a state of procrastinating stasis.  My gap year cannot be an extended holiday.  If it does, I will lose all interest  and passion for activity I might have had to begin with.  Sleeping into the late morning and doing virtually nothing can only be satisfying for a short period of time until it becomes a trap for the apathetic.  

In my gap year, I hope to always keep busy with something so that I never really have nothing on my mind - because in that case I know I have lost. I can keep busy through writing blog posts, reading, biking, joining sport teams and many other things but certainly not putting countless hours into mindless internet dawdling.